Practicing Gratitude for Mental Health and Confidence with Daniel Hack of Gr@titude Sunglasses

Gratitude is a secret weapon for changing our perspective on life, our mood or state of mind, and living a more meaningful and purposeful life. Our special guest, Daniel Hack, has given so many the gift of ‘seeing life through a lens of gratitude’ through building a company that goes far beyond selling sunglasses. Listen in to learn how triggers can remind yourself of the things your grateful for, how a self-reflection process can help you process life’s tough moments, and real life and practical strategies for beginning to improve your mental health and the mindset of those around you.

Connect with Daniel @danieldhack and get your own pair of gratitude lens, https://gratitudemovement.co/ and on Instagram @gratitudemovement.co

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Men Made For More Episode 133: Practicing Gratitude for Mental Health and Confidence with Daniel Hack of Gr@titude Sunglasses

[00:00:00] Dave: Hey there mighty men I'm your host, Dr. Dave Paczkowski founder of Men Made for more coaching, our business helps husbands level up their life. Their leadership and their legacy in marriage and in business. The purpose of this podcast is to bring together like-minded men that feel destined for big things in their life to provide you the resources and community that you need to lead yourself, your family and your business.

[00:00:27] If you've ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated, lost, or alone on your journey to a better and more purposeful life, you're in the right spot. You weren't designed to be average. So it's time to quit living that way today. I'm giving you permission to unlock your true potential and step into all that you were made for.

[00:00:45]What's up guys. Welcome to today's guest episode of the Men Made for more podcast. I'm joined with a good friend of mine, special guest Daniel Hack, Daniel, man. I'm excited to have you out here today. Thanks for making some time.

[00:00:57] Daniel: [00:00:57] Excited to be on here, man. This is going to be an [00:01:00] amazing conversation.

[00:01:01] Dave: [00:01:01] Yes, it's going to be so good. So let's, uh, let's kick it off for, uh, for listeners that aren't familiar with you, uh, let's go short elevator pitch here. So listeners steps down the elevator with you in 60 seconds. What do you have to right now? What are you excited about?

[00:01:14] Daniel: [00:01:14] Oh, great question. I like that. Uh, so my life Ks compiled a of three different things really. Uh, so I've got beach volleyball. Then my passion of mine, um, got business. Uh, actually three, three is, is put into short. I got five things that I do. I've got faith, family, fitness, finances and fun, fun as beach volleyball.

[00:01:37] Faith is my relationship with God Awaken, church fitness, uh, and fun is also, uh, lifted in there. And then finances is gratitude.

[00:01:48] Dave: [00:01:48] and that's good. That's to the point. Uh, some people I tell them 60 seconds and we'll end up going like. Three four or five minutes and we'll have to, we'll have to reel it in. So you got that, you got that down. I love the concise and seven. I think it sums you [00:02:00] up pretty well, but I want to get into a, I mean, gratitude man.

[00:02:03] I'm so excited about your vision, your, your company, and not to mention the awesome sunglasses that, that come along with it. But can you, can you tell listeners a little bit about what your, what gratitude is and what, what your inspiration was to, to start the company?

[00:02:17] Daniel: [00:02:17] Definitely. So we champion mental health with empowering sunglasses. Our whole goal is to facilitate people living life through the lens of gratitude. So the, the sunglasses were actually a trigger and a reminder to live life through a lens of gratitude. So by physically putting those on and looking through that lens too, to have that reminder.

[00:02:37] So with our sunglasses on the inside, it says live life through a lens of gratitude, but also make it a great day. So we have a social impact arm as well. Uh, which the story behind that is back in 2010, I actually lost my dad, uh, to mental illness, to depression and suicide. So for each pair of sunglasses that are purchased.

[00:02:58] We give away a [00:03:00] pair to someone who has lost a family member to mental illness. So on the inside of the sunglasses, it actually said, make it a great day. My dad used to say, we don't have control over everything that happens, but we do have control over how we respond to it. So instead of having a great day, we can make it a great day.

[00:03:17] Dave: [00:03:17] Wow man. That's, uh, that's powerful. And so that's a, you know, such a, such a great vision and be able to give back in that way. And, uh, I love when you say, make it a great day of that, that we have a choice and I'd like to kind of hear from you. Are you, you know, when, when you talk to people about this, when you go and speak on these things, is do people feel like they don't.

[00:03:36] Have a choice in that, is that, is that something that, uh, when you put that in your sunglasses, when you make that a, a piece of it, you know, telling people that they have that choice, is that something that can come to a surprise to some people I think you and I take that, take that for granted, but what's your experience.

[00:03:50] And in working with people that are kind of in the, in the thick of, of these mental health things,

[00:03:55] Daniel: [00:03:55] right. So a lot of, a lot of what's happened is that people believe that [00:04:00] things happen to them rather than for them. Um, it's a little bit different when you're, you're in the depth. So something like depression. Uh, cause that's actually can be, uh, some do more neurological, uh, chemical imbalances trauma that's happened.

[00:04:13] Um, that's manifested through different things. It can be mental illness like depression. It could be addiction, things like that. But for, you know, the everyday person, what happens is, is we think that, you know, an a COVID would be an example, but all of these things that happen, that we're a victim to it.

[00:04:30] Well, yes, these things happen, but we actually have control over how we respond to it. So we can be that highest version of ourselves through that we can learn through it. We can grow, we can use those opportunities to continue to move forward, which is the human experience. We're always growing.

[00:04:47] Dave: [00:04:47] Yeah, that's so good. And how did you, you know, there's, you know, I want to hear kind of your progression from just sunglass company to you. You, you, you got your hand in a lot of other things too, and pushing this movement for, you know, for mental [00:05:00] health and those things. How, how are you guys doing, doing more next?

[00:05:02] I think when we think of sunglasses, we think of, you know, Ray bands, we think of Oakleys. We think of some of those, but those don't have the same, you know, the same purpose. At least I don't, I don't know what their purpose is when I, when I've. But those in the past, like how, how are you, you know, how are you becoming much more than just a sunglasses company?

[00:05:20] Daniel: [00:05:20] Great question. And that's the whole vision is the sunglasses are a proactive way to go out and reach people. So a lot of us know that we need to be growing and learning and personal growth is kind of a reactive thing. Okay. I want to grow. Um, so I'm going to listen to a podcast. I'm going to read a book.

[00:05:36] I'm going to be around people who can help lift me up when really a lot of times the people who need help are the ones who aren't seeking it. So what we do is the sunglasses are a cool way to reach people through. Something like an empowering product. So sunglasses, we are taught to have eye contact. So you're always looking at people's eyes inherently.

[00:05:57] So a lot of times sunglasses get complimented and that [00:06:00] opens up a conversation. So one of our core values is go deep in conversation. So when you say, Hey, these are gratitude lenses, it's all about facilitating and living life through a lens of gratitude. And for each pair that's purchased, we, they give back a pair to someone who's lost a family member to mental illness that opens up a conversation.

[00:06:20] So I remember when I talked about my dad or just what I was doing with gratitude at an event, once it was a event, uh, with ed, my Latin Andy for Sellas, um, business group. And I just shared the story of my dad, but because I went deep in conversation and went first. Uh, I, financial advisor actually talked to me about how he had thoughts of depression and even of suicide, that he felt like he was living in a glass house because he's managing people's money.

[00:06:48] So that's just an example of how gratitude can help facilitate making a change. But to further answer your question, we see gratitude in the sunglasses. Uh, being the first of our [00:07:00] products that really give people into an ecosystem. So once you have the sunglasses that your then have access, instead of saying, Hey, buy more sunglasses, we're gonna then give information to help you unveil that highest self.

[00:07:12] So we're working with people to put together morning routines, to have breath, work, to have stretching, routines, yoga, different things that you can continue to teach and grow. Through the, having the sunglasses and really being brought into the movement of people and then also community social connection is so important.

[00:07:31] We've seen some of the detriments of what's happened, um, with COVID and everything that's happened recently, but as we're on our way out of that, Being around, but like, we have the intentional choice of who we want to surround ourselves with. So getting people connected through the gratitude community is another way that we're continuing to help.

[00:07:51] And then we're super excited about our next product, which is our gratitude journal, which really helps to facilitate the change. So the sunglasses are what we call a gratitude [00:08:00] reminder. So almost have two different product groups, the first being a reminder. So sunglasses, water bottle. Things like that.

[00:08:07] And then there's a facilitator that actually helps you to make that change. So the facilitator is plus sunglasses. So just by writers and not the sunglasses is the journal. Just by writing three things you're grateful for each morning in a journal, the positive psychology study, which was done at Stanford back in 2005 has found that your 10% happier increase that 15% of optimism decrease of depressive type symptoms by 30%.

[00:08:35] And increase of sleep quality by 25%, just by taking two minutes to write three things you're grateful for, but also not limited to that. You can write as many as you want. I just had a conversation with my mentor. Uh, her daughter was actually there today and she named off 18 things. She's grateful for because her teacher doesn't gratitude circle in their class.

[00:08:56] So we don't have to limit ourselves just to those three.

[00:09:00] [00:08:59] Dave: [00:08:59] wow, that's so good. And such a, you know, easy, accessible thing of, if it's something that, you know, we can, it takes a little bit of intentionality, but to be able to take the, take the effort to. To do that. And the benefits we're always looking for these hacks and these supplements and these things that can help us help take our performance, the next level, help us sleep better.

[00:09:17] And doing that when it sounds like we have the simple practice of gratitude available to us anywhere that we can, we can use to, uh, to improve a lot of those things. And I, you know, I love that you guys have that. That triggers. You keep talking about something like a journal. And I know some people go like, well, I don't want to pay for a journal.

[00:09:35] I can just write it on notebook paper. It's like, sure. You can just do that. But the triggers are, what's important of having something that reminds you to, uh, to do that. The sunglasses, the water bottle, the journal, and, uh, I guess like, but from, you know, I love how you're bringing, like you said, bringing personal growth to people that need it and don't, uh, you know, don't necessarily go seek it out because you, and I know the importance of that people probably even listening to this podcast, [00:10:00] know the importance of that if they're seeking out this material, but yeah.

[00:10:03] We're not always the ones that, that need it, although there are plenty that, uh, that do fall into that category. So, uh, one thing I'm kind of curious about, and this is, this is just a question on my mind. I, I hope I'm not doing what I'm thinking it, but how do we know when we're interacting with someone with mental health?

[00:10:17] When, like, how are we, how are we having those conversations? Because a lot of people can hide depression. Well, a lot of people can hide anxiety. Well, a lot of people can hide isolation. Well, how has your. Yeah. How's your company like knowing where to give back and how to have these tough conversations?

[00:10:32] When it's it's almost, to me, it seems like a, like a silent, like a silent diagnosis of people aren't walking around with, uh, physical ailments or anything. It's, it's a, it's something that's might be hard to be perceived on the outside.

[00:10:45] Daniel: [00:10:45] Right. And the thing is, is, is we'll never always know what's going on. It's easy to see when someone's arm is broken because they got a cast on with mental illness. And mental health. We don't always know where somebody is at, but there are signs that are different [00:11:00] things that we can do. And having the real conversations is one of the most important parts of that.

[00:11:05] So we are vulnerable first. So the example I gave of me being vulnerable, first of something that I went through with my dad, talking about concerns that mental. Uh, the depression is the one mental illness that they've seen just statistically be hereditary. So I'm, could I have that as something that I'm aware of?

[00:11:24] So if I have that conversation, then that may bring someone else the opportunity to then say, say something with them. So those are some of the things that we've seen work well, but then, um, you know, some of the telltale signs of depression, um, is someone who is not getting out of bed as a lower energy.

[00:11:46] Um, really doesn't have motivation, uh, to do anything. And that's what I remember from my dad. And I remember the first time it was actually his third time, uh, having depression. And that's what actually ended up. Um, [00:12:00] making it bleed, leading them to that student is the hopelessness of it continuing to come back.

[00:12:04] And he was able to fight it the first two times. But that third time broken. And I remember thinking my dad was up in his room sleeping and he wasn't doing anything. And my mom just, I remember my mom saying that he's sick. And he needs to sleep, but he had a friend who was in a Bible study with him who come over and just get him to walk.

[00:12:24] Even if my dad wouldn't text him back here, I guess at that time there wasn't texts. There was the home phone. Uh, but even if he wouldn't answer the phones, he'd still come over because of the importance of getting outside of the importance of moving, being around people. I mean, it's so important to the mental health.

[00:12:43] Uh, of someone like that. But really the, the big thing is, is with depression is that a lot of times that comes from something that is deeper. So it's a childhood trauma what's called adverse childhood experience. So really having a therapist, having someone that you can talk [00:13:00] to and really go deeper into those conversations is always what.

[00:13:04] Um, I referenced, so you asked the people do full transparency. It took me 10 years to go and talk to somebody. I knew that it was what I needed to do, but it wasn't until I've heard it. God always speaks to me in Greece. And so I've heard it from three different sources and it was actually on a mutual friend of ours, Steve Weatherford.

[00:13:23] He had, um, it wasn't a podcast. It was his. Um, he was doing zoom calls. I can't remember the name of them, but this guy, Andy Vinyasa said going to therapy is like getting a PhD in yourself. And because one of the main things for me is I'm a learner or that was sad. It's like, okay, I need you to go do that.

[00:13:43] And it was eye opening because there's so much to learn about ourselves. But then also dive into some of those things that we're struggling with another great way is having support groups. So being able to talk about those things, because if other people are going through what you are and you're able to [00:14:00] relate to them,

[00:14:02] Dave: [00:14:02] That's good. Yeah. And I didn't know, it took you 10 years. Cause that was my followup question was how did, how did that vulnerability process go for you? Cause everyone's going to come to that at different stages. And I know I've already seen you being able to speak your story and speak on your experiences, giving other people the courage to do so, but that's yeah, I know.

[00:14:22] That's something that's beyond just like, okay. I heard I need to be more vulnerable, so I'm going to start. Being more vulnerable. How has that, how has that process for you in terms of going from not wanting to talk about it, not wanting to explore it, to doing what you're doing now.

[00:14:35] Daniel: [00:14:35] Great question. So it happened 2010. Um, what happened initially is I was actually just talking about this earlier today, is that I initially go a coping mechanism for me is relentless positivity. So I remember thinking when it happened, My mom called me twice. I was in college, like ignored her called then my sister's friend called me crying saying, [00:15:00] Hey, you need to call your mom.

[00:15:01] So I'm thinking something happened to my sister. So I call my mom. She called me about what my dad did. And the first thing I think of is at least it's not my sister, but it was a coping mechanism for me to find the silver lining in it. But what's really. What I've learned is that in non neutral situation, we don't have to find silver line to really process it.

[00:15:25] We need to accept it, not heartbreak, except in that sadness and go through it. Like my mentor says, sometimes you just gotta put your sweat pants on and sit in it. And so I went from what was another thing that I did is what's called the rescuer. So I made sure my brother was okay. My sister was okay. My mom was focused on other people rather than myself.

[00:15:47] I remember two friends that actually forced me to, to actually have a conversation. And I remember vividly almost those small conversations because it was the only time that I actually felt the emotions of what was going on because they [00:16:00] forced me to talk about it. Um, so I went from that, then I moved down to San Diego was doing different things for business.

[00:16:06] I'd started a golf car rental company, um, that I worked and was a founding member of a company that helps athletic teams raise money. And so I was going through these different things, but I was living surface level. I was living for other people's validation or with wanting to fill a hole that I didn't have with my dad.

[00:16:25] And now that I didn't have with the relationship with God and a higher hour with things, and it got to the point, I didn't even realize I was doing it. But my friend, I had a roommate at the time he was renting out a room. I had a condo downtown and he, he noticed that I would take really quick showers.

[00:16:44] And then I would either be listening to a podcast or calling somebody before and after the shower, because I didn't want to be alone in my own thoughts. I remember thinking about how could anyone go hunting? I wouldn't want to be alone for that long. And it's because my mind would go places. And I would [00:17:00] process things when I was my mechanism.

[00:17:02] Uh, was to stay surface level, but everything changed when I started to listen to podcasts. That's why I'm so passionate about them. And my friend sent me to the end of the solo podcasts, which led me to the Tim Ferriss because I had already read the four hour work week. And he said, he asked a question to Laird Hamilton, the Gabrielle reads.

[00:17:22] What's the one piece of advice you'd give your 30 year old self powerful question. Learn. Hamilton said Pat, and all your IDs and stopped drinking now. But then his wife, Gabrielle Reese asked the question back to Ferris, which Tim was already positioned as someone who was an expert in my eyes because he had studied, um, really the life hacks and in a ways to be an optimized life.

[00:17:45] And so he said, start meditating. Now it's not just for hippies who play the didgeridoo. So I went and started. What's called TM or transcendental meditation. Once I started to meditate. I what's called metacognition, which is thinking [00:18:00] about your thoughts. I was aware of my thoughts and I realized I was living for other people's validation.

[00:18:05] When someone would call my condo and apartment, I would correct them because I wanted people to know. It's sad to think about now. I wanted them to know that I owned it because I got some value. In them thinking that I was successful and had these things and I'm came to this realization and then I realized that I needed to flip the switch.

[00:18:25] I saw the word I kept using this flip the switch. So I actually went and moved into a van for seven months. Took it, it was really a period of self-reflection took everything out, all the things and only did. And who was the person to ask? I did three things. I worked, I went to dog parks and I played beach volleyball.

[00:18:44] And I guess the fourth would be listened to a lot of podcasts. And during that time it was really a time of learning and growth of self-reflection. And it's actually, when I came back to my faith, through our friend, Steve, whether for his podcast. Which led me to then [00:19:00] C3 now awaken. Um, and so I was able to, to really take things out to then put in what I needed in my life.

[00:19:07] And it was amazing to see that process. So then from there I'm not surface level, I'm actually living, feeling my emotions. And once that was there, I was open to the abundance, the ideas to help people. And I think we. Are called and want to give the gifts that we've been given. So I see, I saw myself then to where I was now at the time.

[00:19:30] So it was about a year and a half ago, and I wanted to help to facilitate that change in other people. I think a lot of us start businesses so that we can help our previous self. And so what I saw is, is that I wanted to help that person. So podcasts are how I did it. I was in front of 20,000 students every year because I help athletic teams raise money.

[00:19:50] So I was thinking of how can I transition from fundraising to things that would help them like gratitude and personal growth. Then I also had a [00:20:00] company that, um, or a client go with a different company because they were giving away blender sunglasses. So I had sunglasses on my mind. And then I heard Nick Santen, the star.

[00:20:09] So who was born with Hanhardt syndrome? He has no legs, one arm and one finger. And he talks about he's the most positive person you'll ever hear. And what happens is, is when he talks, he says, you. You was talking about how grateful he was, that he was born at the time that he was, because if he was born in the Roman times, they would have thrown him off a cliff.

[00:20:31] He was grateful that he was born as human. He had his parents who helped to champion him and he calls them a superheroes. And he said something which really was the convergence of all of these things that have the idea for gratitude, which was, he said the world would be a better place if everyone lived life through a lens of gratitude. So that's how I went from the long story of how I went from surface level to really starting gratitude in [00:21:00] making that decision to make that change. And through that, as you take a step and that's what I've seen with business, I didn't have it all figured out. I didn't have the vision of where I'd be in five years.

[00:21:10] I knew I wanted sunglasses that they would make a change in reminded people to live life through a lens of gratitude. But as I continue to walk, I was like, okay, well, how can I impact. People through this. I initially thought, okay, we'll give back a percentage to American foundation for suicide prevention, which is a nonprofit that I've volunteered and participated in their walks.

[00:21:29] But then we really wanted to have a more cannibal relationship with someone like my previous self who is lost or myself now was lost a family member. So we can give them those resources. So we can then say, Hey, we've got a journal that makes a big difference. Now we've got, what's called a book of hope, which will give different activities and different things to be able to do to really champion mental health.

[00:21:53] So we can continue to give them the resources and provide them the resources that they [00:22:00] need.

[00:22:01] Dave: [00:22:01] wow. So powerful and cool to hear the, the evolution of it. I think a good reminder for anyone listening that's, you know, has that passion or a life experience trying to help their previous self, like you said so well, and they want to start, but. There's a whole list of reasons why they shouldn't. It's like, well, I don't, I don't have the funding.

[00:22:18] I don't really have the full plan. I don't have my business plan typed out. I don't have this and this and, uh, encouragement for, from, from you. And I I've been in the exact same situation where it's like, just, you know, take the, like, start stepping towards that. Or when I say lean into it of just like start to start to lean into it and see what that, see what that looks like.

[00:22:35] Endorse start to open up as you, you know, share your passion and share what you're about and those new. When you surround yourself around other good people and content and those things, those ideas start to come and it evolves into, into what it is today, which is, which is so cool.

[00:22:48] Daniel: [00:22:48] And I love what you said, that when you lean into it and it's, what can I do today? What can I control? I can, what is one thing I can do that will get me closer to, and I love the second part of that is are the people [00:23:00] I'm surrounding myself with helping me get closer to or further from that filter. If you know where you want to go or have a vision.

[00:23:09] And that may seem like an audacious vision. If you just have the filter or saying the simple phrase is this helping me get closer to or further from you, we'll continue to take steps that will get you to where you want to go.

[00:23:23] Dave: [00:23:23] Yeah, it's such a simple question too, but I think people are afraid to ask the X, I think. It does answer a lot of things. It's people want over-complicate things and kind of leave everything in a gray area. When really, if you ask that about everything, if you're about to turn on Netflix or, you know, browse through social media and there's nothing, nothing wrong with those, those things in a.

[00:23:45] You know, in the context of what else you're doing in the day necessarily. But if you continue to ask that question, you might get some tough answers that you don't want to hear of. Well, I'm eating this thing that I shouldn't be eating and I'm watching this thing that I shouldn't be watching. I'm okay.

[00:23:57] Maybe I shouldn't be saying out so late and [00:24:00] not prioritize my sleep and you start to. Uh, answer that question. All of a sudden, you'll start to find your life going down a different, but more positive trajectory from some that simple, but it will force you to face the facts a little bit and look in the mirror and actually honestly reflect on some of those things.

[00:24:15] Daniel: [00:24:15] Exactly. And what you say their reflection, I think is so important. It's something that we, especially as our culture has continued to be the use of the word busy. I like to use the word. Uh, productive or full instead of that, but our culture overall, it just feels busy. So what happens is, is we feel like we don't have the time to have reflection, but if we take just two minutes at the end of each day, think about three things.

[00:24:40] We're grateful for. Think about, you know, one thing that we would do differently. And one thing that really went well, so we're always ending on a high note. It's really powerful because then you can make that change the next day. If you don't think about that time or have that reflection. You may not even realize that that wasn't the way you wanted to show up in that [00:25:00] situation.

[00:25:00] And I think the state thing is important for monthly, quarterly, and yearly to really reflect on the whole year. One example, uh, for this weekend, I was thinking about going on a trip with some friends, and it's a really busy time for work and I'm busy, full, productive time for work. And what I did is I actually said no at first, but then I thought back to my year-end review, where I looked back at the year, and I thought about some of my favorite times a trip to Catalina, a trip to Joshua tree.

[00:25:30] And so I ended up saying yes to it because I remembered it and took the time to reflect that those were some of my favorite weekends. And those were some of the best times that I had. So by having that reflection, I could then make a decision on what was best for me and what would bring me the most joy instead of being so in it.

[00:25:48] And looking only at what's in front of me, I could really take a bigger picture approach to it.

[00:25:54] Dave: [00:25:54] Marriott. So good reflections, such a, such a big piece of it. That was actually a topic of our group coaching call this [00:26:00] morning, talking to some guys about it. Have some guys that are, I love how you say productive, filled, uh, busy, you know, just like grinded and head down. And it's like, that's that's. Great.

[00:26:09] There's a season for it, but even that little stepping back at the end of the day and taking the time to be like, okay, what like, is this all, where is this all heading me closer to my vision? Is this heading me closer to my life? Am I, am I working and working on my relationships and my faith and my health and some of these other things too.

[00:26:27] Cause we can get so caught up in the day and being able to take a step back from that on a week to week. Basis day to day basis is huge, but I think, uh, you know, tying back into your story, it sounds like you weren't doing much reflection for a period of time. You were just filling it with. Any, anything that would force you to, uh, to not reflect and I'm sure other people can find themselves in that situation.

[00:26:49] Maybe, maybe it is a coping thing. Maybe it's just, they, uh, a societal pressure of feeling like we always have to be going, going, going, but what, what do you recommend as some ways that [00:27:00] people can, uh, implement some of those reflective practices start to. Yeah. Maybe, maybe kind of rethink of what's important and, you know, do that, those ask those tough questions.

[00:27:09] You, you did dream of it, uh, going in and living in a van and doing, yeah. It was things. And, you know, for some people, for some people listening, if they're, if that sounds like their style, you know, go for it. That probably wouldn't be me though, for, for someone like me listening, who wants the, uh, wants to start taking steps in that direction, but isn't ready to throw everything away.

[00:27:26] What are some other strategies or things that people can start to do from a, maybe a daily habits practice that can start to open up the door to. Reflect and ask some of those tough questions.

[00:27:36] Daniel: [00:27:36] Yeah. So I think the first thing is to understand that sometimes we get into autopilot. It's a thing. Um, it's an aspect of life into first start with giving ourselves grace. I think a lot of times, uh, for those of us high performers who are learning and growing. When we realized something that may not be in alignment, we can beat ourselves up for it.

[00:27:55] So I first say, start with grace for yourself. We're constantly growing. We're constantly learning. So if [00:28:00] you haven't been doing the reflection, um, that, that maybe you need, just to know that, that it's okay. And just continue to take one step towards it. So the first thing I would say is, is having that reflection practice at night.

[00:28:13] So three things, I call it a gratitude sandwich. So, um, I'll talk about my morning routine and kind of the three different things that we go into. Um, but, but their evening routine that I do is three things. You're grateful for one thing that I would do differently. So I'm reflecting on that. And then one thing that went well, so, and I'm ending with something that is joyful in that practice.

[00:28:37] With the morning routine, what I do, uh, which I highly suggest this was really the linchpin for my life. And for the transformation was taking the time to meditate. Not everyone is going to take a transcendental meditation course. I've talked about the impact it's had on me to hundreds. If not thousands of people I've had one person actually go through the transcendental meditation course, it's a little bit more than [00:29:00] a lot of people want to do.

[00:29:00] That's fine. But where you can do is you can. I go to insight timer. They've got free apps. They're Headspace and calm. Those are both paid apps, but insight timer has free ones. We're actually going to be creating a 10 minute, uh, gratitude meditation so that we can give that to. Um, our ecosystem, our movement are people who really want to, to start down that path.

[00:29:24] Then what I do from there is I grad do a gratitude journal. So I do three different things with that. First is I do 10 things. I'm grateful for. I used to do three, but I found when I do 10 or at least 10, I started to think about random things like. When I was working out outside of my place, um, wedding, the gyms were closed.

[00:29:44] I loved the view of the Palm trees looking up when I was doing apps. So I'd write stuff like that. The feeling of sand beneath my feet, empathy. I started to be thankful for emotions rather than just my family, my dog and beach volleyball. Um, [00:30:00] so that's really powerful. And then the next redo is what is affirmation?

[00:30:03] So I am statements. I am bold. I'm authentic. I'm Integris. Are three of the main ones that, that I do that are kind of the core values for the way that, that I see myself and that I am to continue to cement those in, of who, even if you may not be quite where you want to be, but those you have the values.

[00:30:23] If you could, if you write that every single morning, it's amazing that that will almost create a filter in a number of different decisions. And then, so then the last one's really powerful. So if we're grateful, We're happy with where we're at. Right. But those of us who are high performing and also, I think all of us as humans are designed to grow, to get better.

[00:30:46] So what we've seen is that we still want to have a vision for the future, but we also don't want, it's like a subtle balance. We don't want to have destination detection where once I launched gratitude and it has millions of people that are wearing the [00:31:00] sunglasses, then I'll be happy. That's an if then statement.

[00:31:02] We don't want an if then statement. We want to be in a place of join now, but out of a vision for the future. So what we do is what's called our quantum list or declare it list where you actually write something down as if it's done. So I I've sold 11, 1,492 sunglasses, and 2020, I've helped over 10 million people live life through a lens of gratitude.

[00:31:28] I live in a house in Encinitas with the beach volleyball court wellness swing. A hot tub, sauna, and steam room, like, and visualize those things and see those things and feel the emotions and feel the gratitude. And it's amazing what will happen and what will really come to fruition. As you continue to write those things.

[00:31:48] It's almost like that same thing where it's really gearing towards that and manifest those things into your life.

[00:31:55] Dave: [00:31:55] Is so powerful and I, uh, I've, uh, I've experienced firsthand I've, I've, [00:32:00] I've known a lot of people that have worked with that have experienced the power of it, just because it, uh, you know, it activates our subconscious and it does things, you know, I don't, I don't fully understand that the full way it works, but I know it does work.

[00:32:12] And for those listening, I was definitely in the camp that it, it sounded too woo for me at first it sounded too out there and vision board and those things, and it, you know, you can. You can make it something that feels, you know, feels right to you, but also know it's going to be uncomfortable at first as you you're, and I've, I've even done things like say those affirmation statements started saying those in front of a mirror and like, that's, that adds to the level of uncomfortable uncomfortableness to it.

[00:32:37] But, uh, it requires you to like, it, there's a different component to that too, of speaking it with speaking with confidence and doing some of those things. So I, I, I highly recommend the. Yeah. Those things, even if they sound out there, just, uh, again, like, like some of those other business ideas lean into it, step into it, just, you know, try like commit to it for a month and see, and it's not like everything's going to come through in a month, but you'll be amazed [00:33:00] at the level of confidence you'll have in the way you're speaking about those things.

[00:33:03] And the way you're feeling about those things is going to be different when you can start to mentally picture those things.

[00:33:09] Daniel: [00:33:09] And I would encourage you to be specific with it. So I help athletic teams raise money as well. And there are a couple of programs that I really wanted to help. Um, Torrey Pines Catholic. Well, what I saw is I just wrote it down. I helped Torrey Pines raise money. I helped cathedral cap raise money, and I would write those things down.

[00:33:28] And within six months I was wondering,

[00:33:30] Dave: [00:33:30] yeah, just from, and I'm sure there were, you know, things that you didn't even realize you were doing because of that, because it was front of mind of people you're reaching out to, or connecting, or you happen to talk about in a conversation and they can say, Hey, like I can connect you with that person.

[00:33:41] And then there's, you know, it's, it's a powerful way that the, that the subconscious works. And I love those. I love those mental practices. Can you talk, uh, just briefly on the importance of the physical side of things too, for those dealing with mental health, because I know there's a lot of connection between our physiology and how we're actually feeling and not that we can totally, [00:34:00] you know, trick our bodies, but I think there are some ways of, of movement and some of those things can definitely help to, you know, physiologically and psychologically kind of change the way where we're feeling.

[00:34:10] Daniel: [00:34:10] Yeah. So they've continued to do a number of studies on the mind, body connection. And it's really interesting. I actually was asked to speak, uh, for a, doctor's putting on a, a small conference on research and she had died on the microbiome, which is our gut health. And actually seeing that if they test the gut health, they can see if somebody has anxiety or depression just by, just by looking at that.

[00:34:35] But, uh, there's a number of other things that we can do to continue to really champion our mental health and really focus on that. A couple of really important getting outside. Well, you, you know, you don't necessarily have to go to the gym for an hour and do a crazy interval workout or go on a 10 mile run.

[00:34:51] If you just go outside and move and continue to, to utilize your body. It's amazing. The difference [00:35:00] of what happens. I call it also movement after meals. So each time I have a meal, I go and take my dog on a walk. And then you don't have no larger feeling. Um, you know, I can go for a meal to be able to to then not doing much, and really saying that sedentary position where it's so important to continue to move your body and to have that exercise because we have endorphins that are released in our body.

[00:35:25] That's so important. And social action is another thing. There's something called oxytocin that has released in their body. Like when you hug somebody, uh, which of course be safe and then make whatever precautions of what's going on in your life. But, but if you, when you have somebody, like we are designed to be in connection, we're designed to be in community.

[00:35:45] So when that happens, we actually, she have this mood boosting, um, endorphins that are released in oxytocin that's released, which really makes us. Puts us in that place of joy and happiness. Um, and then the last with [00:36:00] that, it's something we both have really leaned into an experience, which is breath work.

[00:36:05] So if I have, if I'm in an anxious place or a stressed out place, what happens is, is if you pay attention to your breathing, I'm starting to breathe very shallow, very quick. Like, and then if I'm calm, it's deep, slow breaths, right? But what happens is, is the same way that if I'm have stress or anxiety in my brain, it impacts my breath.

[00:36:29] I can utilize that same mind, body connection to do the reverse. So if I'm in a stressful and anxious place, I can then utilize my breath to control how my mind is and put my mind in a relaxed state. So utilizing breathwork and we've done, what's called, um, hostile breathing with this awesome guy, Tyler Forbes.

[00:36:50] Um, who's who's really got this brief degrees music infused breathwork I could not speak more highly of it, but to [00:37:00] utilize that as a deep is that's more of like a deep meditative practice and utilizing the breath to be able to get into a deep meditative place, but also doing something as simple as.

[00:37:11] Breathing in for four seconds all the way in holding for four seconds. And then all the way out for four seconds, it's called a box breathing at 45 and my friends and manager there, they've incorporated that at the end of each of their workout, so that you go, instead of being in that excite delight or like stress state, that was what happens when you work out, you then get back and get your body back to, to a good state.

[00:37:35] And the other one, um, That we utilize is, is just, you can do the same thing and not worry about the in or the hold. And really just have like the eight seconds out is really important. So it's actually, the exhale is one of the most important parts. That's what Tyler Forbes suggests for sports. So if you're at the free throw line, he suggested to our friend, Steve Weatherford, his son's a big basketball player.

[00:37:58] He said, just [00:38:00] focus on the exhale, eight seconds out. Okay. If you're going up to the line, whatever you want to do to relax yourself, what if I'm volleyball, I'm not playing how I want to play. I'll turn around. I'll walk away. I'll continue to champion myself and be aware of my thoughts, but I'll use that breathing and then just breathe all the way out for eight seconds.

[00:38:20] Dave: [00:38:20] and breath is so, so powerful for those that aren't as familiar with it. That's a. You know, in sports, there's definitely application, but maybe you're about to give a presentation. Maybe you're about to go have a tough conversation with a, with a spouse or with a boss, or you have to, you know, pick up the phone and call that unhappy customer.

[00:38:36] Like these are strategies we have at our disposal at any time too. It's not just in athletics. It's anytime you're looking to calm yourself and you feel that that tension starts to rise and get into your, get into your shoulders.

[00:38:48] Daniel: [00:38:48] Yeah.

[00:38:49] Dave: [00:38:49] Shoulders up. That's a sign that you need to, it could just be checking your emails and you get that stressful email and just like step back, you know, do that.

[00:38:56] So exhale before you do it, I should get Tyler on here. Cause there's, you know, [00:39:00] breathing, we can go, we can go deep on some of that for, uh, and we see it from everything from back pain, neck pain, like, uh, issues with the body. Tightness, but also just all those other stresses and performance. And there's so many applications for, for something like that.

[00:39:13] So it's as good. You brought that up and on the, on the social side of things, uh, I'd, I'd love to hear your thoughts as someone who's really in the, you know, you're, you're in the, in the battleground of mental health and out there, and, you know, putting yourself out there. What's uh, what's this last, I mean, we're coming on 12 months or so of what's, uh, you know, with all this, with, with COVID going on with all this social isolation, what have, what have you seen as the impact, but knowing how important we are as, as social creatures.

[00:39:40] Daniel: [00:39:40] Uh, I just think it's had a huge detrimental impact. I mean, they won't release the statistics on suicide. They haven't since 2017, because of, it's just the, it's the growing epidemic of our time. Um, I know that. There's been stats that have thrown out like, uh, of 800%. Um, the suicide hotlines [00:40:00] are, are off the, um, off the charts.

[00:40:03] And it's just continued to be such a, if you look, I saw something, Instagram always has those, those interesting side-by-sides, but they did the side by side of, of what will champion your mental health and what will be a detriment. And everything that has happened through this last year has been things that have hurt us.

[00:40:22] So things that will help your mental health, getting outside exercise, being around people. What are we, what have we been told to do? Stay inside don't exercise. The gyms are all closed. Don't see anyone, but then also through that experience is everyone feels differently about what's going on, but what happens is, is.

[00:40:43] You're either in a scared or anxious state of getting something, or what's also facilitated is a feeling of guilt. If you feel a different way than somebody else. And that we as humans, we don't want to create, we don't, I don't want someone else to be scared. I like when I see somebody [00:41:00] who is over. Um, WellMed with fear.

[00:41:04] Like, what I want to do is hug them and tell them it's okay. But like, that's actually the worst thing you could ever do because they're scared to have this, um, flu that you can get. And it's, it's really, it's a, it's a tough position to be in because. There's no one answer that that can really be done through that.

[00:41:25] But I would just say that, that as we continue to get out of it, it's really just being there for the people around us is really doing these things and controlling what we can control wherever you're out with. What's going on.

[00:41:38] Dave: [00:41:38] And see, like you mentioned earlier becomes so, so big and something like this. And, uh, I would just, yeah. Build on that of, uh, in summarize what you're saying too, of wherever your comfort is socially, like fine. Something you can stay connected with social. The answer is not isolation. And if. If zoom really is your only, only comfort it's it might not be to the same degree as human touch, but make sure that you're, you know, [00:42:00] staying in touch with, with people and getting in community and in some way, cause it's, as, as, as we've seen, it's just taking such a, such a toll on people because we're not meant to be isolated.

[00:42:10] We're not meant to be alone in those ways. Yeah. And, uh, so we'll, we'll start to wrap up here. I've got a couple more kind of closing questions for you here. Uh, I love sharing all that. I love hearing about gratitude. I love hearing what you're doing and just shifting gears to, you know, a couple of personal questions.

[00:42:27] As we, as we wrap up here, the first one. Especially when we listen to these podcasts, we listen to these personal growth things. We seek out these things and it's easy to look from the outside and think that, you know, you hear a couple of guys talking who are, you see people on social media and it's like, it looks like they have it all together.

[00:42:43] We follow these people and it seems like they're crushing in all areas when in reality, yes, we should be working towards that. But. There's a lot of people that you might be following that are maybe crushing it financially and physically look good, but their relationships are a mess. They're, they're even depressed.

[00:42:58] They're struggling with those things. So [00:43:00] first is, is to not just get caught up in these perceptions of, especially on social media nowadays can do so much harm for that. And as a place where I want people to be real and be able to, you know, Here, what, what us and our guests are really going through. as, we look at these, these people that seem to have it all together, what's, uh, you know, what's one of those areas between spiritually, physically, mentally, financially career relationships. One of those pillars that you're intentionally working a little more on or something you might be struggling with or waiting for that breakthrough on, would you mind sharing that with, with people?

[00:43:31] Listen,

[00:43:32] Daniel: [00:43:32] Definitely. So and the things that I've seen is first is that I, something that I've improved, not to be vulnerable to share the things that I'm, I'm going through. I have a tendency to go to the positive, to find that silver lining, to spend something that I'm really working on is to not feel the need to find silver lining in non neutral situations.

[00:43:53] Like I said, and one of them is relationships. So I went through a breakup, uh, about three weeks ago. [00:44:00] And my initial response was all of the things that were positive. You know, things I had learned through it, the things, you know, the difference in lifestyle, all of those things, but what happened was, is I wasn't allowing myself to actually feel that heartbreak because it was the first time that I had really treated a woman in the way that she should be treated, that I had really championed her and, and opened myself up and not just how a surface level.

[00:44:29] Relationship. And so I really needed to work on that heartbreak and allowing that in. And really there was something that my mentor said of like, just, just bring in the heartbreak, almost like you're hugging it and you can sit in it. It's okay. To process. It's okay. To be sad. And so relationships is really something.

[00:44:49] That, um, I'm working on and it's something that, um, and in terms of feeling the full array of emotions, rather than [00:45:00] just staying surface level or going strictly to, um, the positive part, which is interesting to say, because I've started a movement around gratitude. But the thing is, is that there are situations where we can still be grateful.

[00:45:14] In that gratitude is knowing that things will get better, but it doesn't mean that we can't be where we are. And if where we are as a place where we should be processing, where we should be feeling the sadness, feeling the heartbreak, then let's feel those emotions and know that it's okay. That we

[00:45:30] Dave: [00:45:30] Mm, good, man. I appreciate you sharing that. I appreciate being vulnerable with it. And the difference between positivity is not always. And I actually had a Chris Wirth on here a few months ago, talking about positivity and that it's not just that everything is good and like, Flowers and sunshine and this and that, it's, it's actually allowing you, it's being positive while also being able to, like you said, sit in that and process it and give yourself time to do that.

[00:45:54] Because people listening, you know, might you see someone who's always positive like yourself and it's easy [00:46:00] again, to get the impression that like, Oh, nothing ever phases him. He goes through this and it's, but that's a. No, that's just your way of, of dealing with it. That is going to be totally different than someone else's way.

[00:46:10] And there's not a, there's not a right or wrong, but being able to process that and not use whatever that is as a way to just maybe mask it or get through it, or kind of put a, put a mask on so to speak when you need to be sitting in it a little bit. So I appreciate you sharing that for and as an encouragement for other people listening.

[00:46:30] Daniel: [00:46:30] Exactly. And I think vulnerability is so important. And the thing that it was actually reframed for me by listening to podcasts, by listening to these people who were in places that I wanted to be. Being vulnerable. And I really, it was a switch and I don't know if I heard it all, heard it somewhere or just started to think about it this way.

[00:46:49] But when I started to think that and know that vulnerability is masculinity, masculinity, we, as men are not call do just be macho and big [00:47:00] muscles and stuff like that and called to lead. But ma but. Being masculine and being a leader and being a man part of it has to do with opening up our hearts to be vulnerable and have those real conversations, whether that be with ourself or with other people.

[00:47:16] Dave: [00:47:16] that's so good too. Yeah. And we could, we could hide behind those, that macho NIS and that appearance of macho, NIS, and muscles and doing those things. It's easy to hide behind that front of. Thinking where we're leading when in reality, where we're maybe running away from the thing we needed to be needed to be addressing and need to be, uh, stepping into, to, to really achieve our full potential as who we are made to be.

[00:47:37] And that's the big piece of that. The hardest piece of it for a lot of guys is being vulnerable, being in relationships where you can be vulnerable and be open and be able to not feel like you have to, you know, show up or perform in front of people, but being able to just show up as, as you are and come, come real.

[00:47:55] Daniel: [00:47:55] A

[00:47:55] Dave: [00:47:55] Yeah, last thing here, man. When we, as we wrap it up, I want you to a [00:48:00] closing question for you as, as we think about, as you think about, uh, you know, a low point in your life, a hard time in your life. And I know you've already been vulnerable about some of those things, whether it's the passing of your dad, or maybe there was something after that, that was, uh, maybe a low response to that as you kind of reflect on, on that thing.

[00:48:17] And I'm not going to ask you to share what that is, but, uh, someone might be going through that. That's similar. A feeling of whatever that was, if it's isolation or doubt or guilt or shame or whatever that might've been for you, if you had to give 60 seconds of encouragement to yourself in that time, what would you say?

[00:48:35] Would you say to yourself, because someone listening might be going through the same thing and they might need to need to hear those words. So if you can think of, think of that time and then, you know, just give 60 seconds of encouragement of how you would, how you would address yourself in that, in that moment.

[00:48:50] Daniel: [00:48:50] Definitely first thing I would encourage is to have a conversation with the people close to you. We're designed to be in community. We're designed to be able to help each other out. And although they may not be in the same [00:49:00] position as you, and you may feel this, this feeling of. Of aloneness, if you're able to open up and have that conversation, it's amazing what happens when two human beings do that?

[00:49:10] I would also say that that just take one step at a, at a time, give yourself the grace to know that you may not be, or be feeling the way that you want to feel, but you do have a vision for where you want to go. And I believe all of us have an art design. For a purpose and we have it inside of us. It is up to us not to be the best version of ourselves, but instead on the veil, the best version of ourselves, because we haven't inside of

[00:49:37] Dave: [00:49:37] And it's so good. I love it. I preached the same thing and I love, uh, love you sharing that. Let's wrap up here. Where can, where can people find you? Where can people find gratitude? Where can they reach out with you? Connect with you, get some awesome sunglasses, which I will say I highly recommend them. I have an awesome pair myself.

[00:49:53] Uh, let us know where we're at. People can, can find you

[00:49:57] Daniel: [00:49:57] Definitely our website is [00:50:00] gratitude movement.cl. So again, that's dot com, not.com. We also have our Instagram is gratitude, movement.com. So you can get to the website from there, buy the sunglasses there, engage with the community, follow us. We're always posting inspirational quotes, engaging, and really sharing to help lift each other up and unveil that highest version of

[00:50:22] Dave: [00:50:22] So good. Yeah. And I couldn't, I can recommend you guys enough for what you guys are doing, and I appreciate you coming on today. I appreciate the vision you're following and being able to, to step into that and, uh, make, make an impact in a, in a world that needs you really badly. So thanks for what you're doing.

[00:50:37] And thanks for coming on today. Daniel had a blast, man.

[00:50:39]Daniel: [00:50:39] Thank you. Make it a great day. My friend.

[00:50:43] Dave: [00:50:43] Thanks for listening today, guys, unbelieving that even if you apply one thing from today's show, you're taking one step closer to living as the man you were made to be meaningful change doesn't happen overnight. So keep showing up and keep consistent every single day until good things start to happen.

[00:51:00] [00:51:00] If you haven't already taken 60 seconds to write a review on whatever platform you're listening on, goes a long way in growing this podcast and reaching other men, just like you, that are hungry for more in their life. Do you have any questions on today's show feedback or content you want to see more of shoot me a text.

[00:51:17] Yeah, text me (760) 477-4361 at (760) 477-4361. Let me know that you're listening to it. And so I can personally thank you for your support of myself and the show. That's it for today, guys, it's time to raise your standard for yourself. Stop settling for just getting by, go all in on your passions in the Lightroom made for a lot of you guys and talk to you soon.

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Men Made for More Podcast

Practicing Gratitude for Mental Health and Confidence with Daniel Hack of Gr@titude Sunglasses

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